Sun Sun Barsaat ki dhun sun

The other day I was listening to this song on Radio. I was thrilled by listening to this song after such a long time. Last time I remember hearing this when I was in school…. I liked the student teacher relationship in the movie then… Never however understood what was the teacher trying to tell to his students by this song..

A chord did strike me yesterday:

Sun Sun Sun Barsaat ki Dhun Sun(Listen to the tunes of rain)

Bijli chamki lipat gaye hum(Lightning struck, we embraced)

Badal garja simat gaye hum(thunder stroke, we came close)

Yeh hai kitna achcha shagun(It is such a good omen)

However the later part of the song is how one student visualizes the meaning in his dream world.. I took it completely different. Whenever there was a problem in life, any difficulty (bijli chamakna ya badal garajna as in the song) we try to embrace or come close to people we love, we feel can secure us.

That’s a human nature how much ever we feel we are independent and are self sufficient there are times we need a loved one closer… Just the mere act of hugging you loved one (could be ur best friend, ur sibling, ur parents, ur lover) u feel so secure, so blessed, so full of love. You feel now that u have someone closer to you crossing the hurdles of life may not be that difficult.

It’s not that we are not capable of doing things… each one gathers strength to walk over the cross roads of life… but it’s just that when u have someone closer to u ur views of the difficulties change a bit.. once ur heart is filled with love the road does not look that difficult…

I accept I was wrong, I admit it and try to correct it.

So many of us who keep getting hurt at times do wonder why the person who hurt me could not say these simple words. Was the meaning of the words so difficult he could not understand? Was it ego? Was it self-centeredness? What was it?

I say it’s just the realization. Whenever there are occasions you get hurt by some act others did u realize it so soon but when u hurt someone during some random moment u do not realize very soon. It takes time for that realization to come. I am not talking about events where we directly/indirectly hurt others intentionally. I am talking about events where we ourselves do not realize that some random act has hurt the other person. This hurt can go as far as making the sweetest relationships go sour.

All it needed was a clear confrontation. About things like let us talk it out straight without any biases.

I had seen a play this weekend “Bade Bhai Sahab” It was a play directed on the famous short story written by Munshi Prem Chand. The story is about 2 brothers and their studies.
The elder one just wants to maintain "I am elder feeling”. In an effort to make sure his brother never gets diverted from his studies and do end up being a good educated person in life. He forgets that he had started bullying his brother unintentionally. There were occasions he would scold him without proper justification. He himself always used to fail while his brother would always pass with flying colors.
Somewhere he was trying to fill up for his failure as a student by shouting at his brother.
The younger one as a obedient brother always listens to him every time he gets insulted. He respects his Bhai Sahab. Then there was one day when the younger one reached his brother’s class and the next time he got a banter he shouted back saying you cannot shout at me as I am at the same level as you. It is you who fail and not me. Well all he did was let out his long time put aside hurt feelings and anger. He did not realize how that will affect his Bhai Sahab.
It was then the Bhai Sahab said yes I know I failed and u have been successful and tomorrow u will go ahead of me still I am 5 years elder to you and not even God can remove that difference. I will be your elder one forever. That’s where the story gets a tragic turn when they both realize their mistakes and they correct their mistakes. They say sorry to each other and life goes on.
Its only when they realized what wrong they did they could correct it. Now the question lies what it takes to realize our mistakes.

I feel it just takes a few moments of mental calmness and a peaceful mind state where one is ready to look beyond those hurt feelings, where one is ready to get into the other’s heart and figure out the cause of those hurt feelings. A state where one is ready to forget the anger, where one can look towards the opponent as oneself.

It is then we realize all it takes is to admit your mistake and u see the conversation was never that difficult. It’s only the realization that was difficult. Its very easy to blame but really difficult to figure out the reason behind anyone’s action. Only once when u try to fill in love in your thoughts u realize there could be so small reasons also which could have hurt others. It is then u realize what u consider a small issue could have actually appeared so big to the other one. It is only when u r ready to forget all the harsh feelings that u give way to those soft empathetic feelings. It is then u say those words effortlessly. It is then u figure out that by saying this u have filled your heart with joys and the anger, the hurt has just vanished away.

Life is too complicated, too fast to realize this I agree. But we never know a small act in right conscience may help us do that.

All we have to realize is what if someone behaves the same way with me?? How will I feel?

Lateral Thinking/Inclusive Thinking

Listened to aamir's speech in ET awards:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Aamir-Khan-wows-audience-at-ET-Awards-function/videoshow/5431445.cms

Loved it when he said: My mom was happy to hear that i won the game but then she said the guy who lost in front of u must have also reached home by now and when his mother asked him about the game he would have told he lost and she must be really upset.... It is so true we always think about us whether we won/ we loose.. Why do we not think about the others as well??? Would it not be easier to solve the miseries if each one of us start thinking about the other person and be more caring, more inclusive in our interaction??? Why is it not that easy to show empathy towards others and always try to view a difference of opinion more as why does this difference exist?? What is different in the perspectives? What is it that i cannot see and he/she can see?? What is it that makes us see the same thing in different perspective???

Why do we not give a try to look into the background where the other person come from? Why is it always not so intuitive and not so easy??

I guess once we start looking at things from other person's perspectives resolving the conflicts won't be that difficult... It will be rather easier to mitigate the differences... Once we understand the problem more clearly is it not easier to find a viable solution??

Yes it be could more related to putting yourself in backseat and putting your opponent in front seat once...
Whenever i tried to put my point across and people did not understand i tried to look into what makes the other person not see my point.. I understood the background behind his/her thinking but its not always true vice versa... People denied to understand my point of view even when i could see in their eyes they are getting it and realising i am not wrong... They just could not admit it as they always wanted to win the argument.... Then i told to myself i just cannot go beyond this and accepted my defeat...

Today i think again no i did not defeat i actually learned something more about the problems of life today... It was so easy for Rancho to sign the Decree of Defeat which Silencer got for him even after knowing it that he had not actually lost the bet... He was not bothered about the outcome of the bet he was actually bowled over how seriously and how differently Silencer took the bet rather than understanding the point which he was trying to make.